01 / THE PRODUCT
There isn't one.
No app. No token. No membership. Not even a branded mug. We removed every unnecessary feature, followed by several necessary ones. The savings were imaginary.
An entirely unnecessary Bitcoin experiment
There are millions of worthy causes in the world.
This isn't one.
Hello. I'm Mr SW. I spent actual money on two domain names to launch a website offering absolutely nothing. The business model is to find somebody with too much Bitcoin and dangerously little supervision. Our accountant has asked us to stop calling this a business model.
Finally, a Bitcoin project with the courage to offer nothing.
Tap the seal for official approval. Certified by absolutely nobody.
Two domain names ✳ Zero useful products ✳ Unreasonable confidence ✳ Absolutely no roadmap ✳
01 / Our rather weak caseA remarkably poor
A remarkably poor
value proposition.
Most websites promise to change your life. This one is offering to make approximately 45 seconds of it slightly stranger.
02 / THE MISSION
Make you laugh.
If you're amused, the experiment has already worked. If you're offended, there is a fairly reasonable chance we've still entertained somebody.
03 / THE BUSINESS MODEL
Astonishing optimism.
Somewhere, someone may be rich, eccentric, and in possession of a profoundly questionable sense of humour. Our entire business plan is to remain available.
02 / A purely hypothetical price listHow much is
How much is
a laugh worth?
A speculative strategy for a business with precisely no means of taking payment.
LEVEL 01
1,000 SATS
Mr SW puts the kettle on. Not to celebrate. He was going to anyway.
LEVEL 02
100,000 SATS
The kettle is replaced with one that has a light on it. Analysts are calling it a pivot.
LEVEL 03
0.01 BTC
A committee is formed to discuss the kettle. It meets without the kettle.
LEVEL 04
1 BTC
The accountant requests a separate meeting with reality. Reality sends its apologies.
Imaginary scenarios. Actual Bitcoin payments are not enabled.
0.00000000
FICTIONAL BTC · MANUALLY TYPED · NEVER A BALANCE
Fiction, not finance. This number is typed in by hand; no funds have been received.
No wallet or payment link. Your Bitcoin remains safely your own problem.
03 / The entirely fictional ledgerGenerosity remains
Generosity remains
theoretical.
Most financial figures are typed in by somebody. We have decided to be unusually forthcoming about it. Press the irresponsible button and discover how quickly nothing becomes an emergency.
This is a manually edited fictional number, not a blockchain transaction history.
04 / Reasonable objectionsFrequently
Frequently
questioned
judgement.
Is this a charity?
Absolutely not. There are wonderful charities doing important work. This is just a man on the internet attempting to turn a joke into a story.
Will I receive something in return?
No goods, ownership, profit, investment rights, or miraculous spiritual awakening. The joke is what you've already received. If gifts are enabled later, they will be voluntary personal gifts.
Does this project have a whitepaper?
Yes. It is one page long, entirely white, and makes no claims we can substantiate. We consider this unusually responsible.
Where is the roadmap?
Phase 1: launch website. Phase 2: develop mild concern. Phase 3: explain the website to an accountant. Phase 4: return to Phase 2.
Can I pay in exposure?
Exposure is currently our only accepted currency. We appear to have considerably more of it than we can spend.
What happens if nobody gives you Bitcoin?
Mr SW continues to own two domains and an excellent story about the evening he thought this was a sensible thing to build.
And if someone sends you an entire Bitcoin?
After independently verifying it, we would first check that the internet has not collectively lost its mind. We would then attempt to write a suitably bewildered thank-you.
05 / Our audited impactPerformance beyond
Performance beyond
all expectations.
Mainly because none were set.
We are pleased to report another period of operational excellence, based on an absence of operations.
0
Products sold. We disrupted a market without the inconvenience of entering it.
1
Entirely unnecessary website. Management describes the outlook as "fine, probably".
3
Reasons to close this tab. We can think of three. The risk committee was unavailable for comment.
Review conducted by the Department of Imaginary Assurance. Its qualifications remain confidential, largely because there are none.
Audit pending
Executive summaryYou've reached the bottom
You've reached the bottom
of a completely pointless webpage.
You haven't lost money, signed up to a newsletter or bought a digital monkey. By modern internet standards, this is a resounding success.
Transaction declined by common sense.
You have donated 0 Bitcoin. You have successfully kept 100% of your Bitcoin. Mr SW has received precisely nothing.
Attempt 1 of 5 · The accounts department is profoundly grateful.